My personal season of death and rebirth
A closing the bones ceremony, an impromptu journey and the Time of Dreaming.
Today I am sharing my internal season, after which I go into the external season, how it relates to our dreams and practical tips to embrace the liminal time of Samhain. A handful of images of the past week and woop woop: you still have time to join the WORLDS OF AVALON as I had to postpone the official start date as Fynn had a fever and, well, read on…
We are packing, hastily.
My grandmother is dying, she decided she is ready. I don´t know if I will see her again before she passes through the veils.
Writing this so honestly, I wonder why we haven´t left already. It´s because I have lacked in truly, honestly communicating what I need, and more importantly: what I want.
Since exactly the lunar Samhain on Nov 13th and the New Moon, I knew something will happen, I just didn´t know what. Unable to focus fully, leaking energy, but trying to make it all work.
We are currently in my mother-in-law´s (technically, she is my boyfriend´s mother as we are not married yet, but for ease´s sake I started using this term) garage. Which is heated, very comfy. But also, very dark. I hung up fabric, put down rugs and sheep skin, arranged work desks and altar. Forcing myself to be cosy. When in reality, I don´t want to live in this compromise when we could go anywhere. But of course we do it. For Glastonbury. For Family. For friends.
And because I couldn´t, Life decided for me.
We are thinking about what day to book the ferry. I can´t wait to be in the car. Very contrary to me looking forward to spacious (time wise) three weeks until our originally planned departure. With a lay over in Kent and Essex and a slow (car) tour de France. At the same time I am anxious about a long drive with a toddler who is in a major sleep pattern shifting phase through teething and fever. And still, I cannot wait to be in the car. All packed, all sorted. How though? Fynn not sleeping, and when, then only attached to me, leaves little room to sort through our stuff, let alone unfinished work tasks. But I know, we will manage. My aim: without stressing. Because rushing around only makes everything worse.
I am tearing up now. It is overwhelming. The grief. And the change. The ending of this in between waiting period. Feeling in transit. Relief to get moving. Doubt to where to land back again.
But so much about the death part in my personal season.
The rebirth came in form of a closing the bones ceremony last Friday. Which is a conscious closing of the birth portal, being wrapped up and physically closed to acknowledge the phase of becoming a mother. When the scarfs are opened up again, the mother is welcomed back after closing one chapter and to open the next, possibly opening the space for new children.
I am truly grateful for the community here that offers these and other ceremonies for families and mothers in particular, some are even funded as community projects.
I imagined it to be two hours of sacred me-time and celebration. Which, it was, AND it also was a bit chaotic as our son, having a temperature and not wanting to leave my side, wasn´t well enough to spend the two hours with grandma and instead had me breastfeeding most of the time. A perfectly mundane ceremonial experience. I loved it.
However, I am struggling to make time to integrate and fully go within as my mind is occupied with tending to Fynn, trying to work, packing and thinking of my grandmother.
So I allow myself this liminal time of untied threads.
`tis the season after all.
We entered the time between the years and here is how we can honour this threshold.
With years I don't mean our calendar years as we know them, but the agricultural years that the Celts would have used to base their lives on, long before calendars were used and Christian holidays were celebrated. With the last harvest in between Autumn Equinox and Winter Solstice (NOW), the agricultural year has ended and the next one will not begin until February.
What this means is that we are in a liminal time.
A time that can feel a bit disorientating.
Yet with so much magic to experience when we dare to pause and look around, and let our look be guided within.
Unfortunately it seems we can´t find the time to slow down, everyone seems busier than usual with the Gregorian calendar year coming to an end, and feeling pressure to get projects finished or start preparing for Christmas and NYE.
But we don´t need to escape our busy lives or neglect important tasks to honour the natural cycle, we can simply add small pockets of time each day to light a candle and pause.
Or go on a short walk, or look at the sky at night.
We can engage in ceremonial rituals to ease the transition not only for body and mind but also our emotional being. (Check out the replay of my Samhain Ceremony, if you are in need of ritual and a guided vision journey)
In Germanic and Celtic traditions we know a specific liminal time between the lunar and solar year which is still very much known in Germany, called the "Rauhnächte", the 12 nights between winter solstice or Christmas and beginning of January.
These nights are - to this day - used for divination, dream work and smudging, most common is the practice of burning incense to "smoke away" the old and embrace the darkest days for oracular insights.
And really, we are preparing for this Dream Time now, with the season of Samhain.
I like to imagine it as the evening before going to bed, where we can choose to put our screens aside, turn off the bright electric lights and prepare our bodies for rest. Read instead of watch something, take a bath and drink a warm soothing evening tea. Candle light helps us to enjoy the dark instead of wishing it away and journaling or conversations with loved ones can be a good way to reflect on the busy days and quiet the mind.
How can we treat November and early December as this "evening" time in preparation for the night´s sleep?
In order to consciously engage with our dream and divination work, we need to set the space for it. A good way is to start a dream journal, to write down dreams upon waking each day.
Even if you don't seem to remember your dreams, you can start writing even a few words or the way you feel, and by asking yourself "what happened before?" whilst continually writing. This will help you to unlock your subconscious thoughts and train yourself to remember dreams.
Which is laying the foundation for Dream Time in the upcoming winter months!
Our subconscious communicates with us through dreams and when we train our conscious mind throughout the day - through mindfulness practices, meditation, concentration, presence and ceremonies and active imagination - we open the communication channel between subconscious and conscious which helps us to align what we want with what we need and live a truly fulfilled life.
The winter is the perfect time to retreat within, and to practice shadow work, meet spirit guides or give thanks to ancestors and find pathways to your heart.
Also, it is story time, fires are being lit and through telling tales of those that have passed through the veils or those that are waiting to be remembered and reborn, we bring them alive in us.
Mythological stories are deeply woven with the landscape and its seasons. They give us meaning and help us to make sense of our environment and how to enchant our lives - even if we thought we lost the magical touch in an age of AI. It is still here, more than ever - and I dare declare: Magic is the new normal. Especially in this technological era. We remember that we truly are magical and this is the season to tangibly awaken it in your life.
It is simply a matter of finding your personal portal of resonance.
Mine is rooted in Celtic Mythology and the otherworldly realms of Annwn. It is the Calling of the eternal isle of Avalon.
The mysterious mists surrounding the Glastonbury Tor
The remembrance of the Faery Accord and the enchanted voices of the wells
The nymphs who whisper in the waters.
If this is striking a heart-chord within you, I invite you to take a look at my course THE WORLDS OF AVALON, in which I bridge Mythology and Modern Magic. We start December 1st. Online (and optional in person retreat), check it out here: https://lauradurban.com/avalon-course/
To give you a taste of this magical mystical season and my work with Avalon, you can watch the replay of my Samhain Ceremony.
Stories and explanation about Samhain and how it can open the portal to the Faery Realm, what happens in the Otherworld and to guide you on an inner journey to the Shining Isle, which is accessible during this time and might bring you messages from ancestors and spirit guides.
I wish you all a good transition time and blessed Samhain Season!
Are you dreaming as intensely as I do?
Have you ever worked with your dreams to co-create your reality?
I would love to know as I am practicing lucid dreaming and would love to know your experiences!
Sending you so much love for your journey. I truly feel everything you are saying about this time... it feels rich and fertile but so very inner worldly... not really for public consumption if that makes sense. I’ve been toying with retreating away for a few weeks from all the outside noise... maybe I will... but I really do feel the call to slow, simplify, and tend to myself. I had a closing ceremony in April... I am yet to write about it as it’s still integrating... it’s coming soon but not quite formed yet. I wish every mother got to receive the medicine. Xxx