On Apples
The overflow and the grief of allowing. Allowing the decay of something I love to nourish my environment, instead of trying to take it all in myself. And what I found through my calling to Avalon.
It´s autumn equinox, end of september, second harvest, sunset of the year. The apple trees hung so full with fruit, that the last days of rain easily dropped the branches and covered the earth with food for the worms.
Nature is so incredibly abundant and does not need to cling onto any of its bounty.
Decay is only the predecessor or new life.
It´s truly amazing and shows me how fullness co exists with letting go. The overflow flows into compost.
The grapes from our neighbours are plentifully hanging over our garden fence. There is literally too much free fruit for us to eat whilst we spend money on processed and packaged groceries.
It makes me ponder about the area in life, where I feel abundant. That is my creative ideas, my projects, learning, research and teaching.
I have too much of it all in my head and can´t seem to find the time and energy in this new mom´s work life to realise it all and execute all ideas in their full capacity - which I think they deserve.
Instead of biting in each apple just to have tasted every single fruit, I aim this year to only pick up the ripe ones that already fallen to the ground (but only those without the worms) and allow the others to either fall someone else into the hands or decompose in the soil as an offering to the great mother from whom the came in the first place.
praying that they will be accepted as an offering and presented to me in a reborn way next year, when (and if) I have the time, space and hunger for them.
AVALON
The island of apples, the fortunate isle, Avalon of the Heart.
I moved to Glastonbury three years ago, on the Full Moon in September, 2020. We are approaching a full moon next week and phew what a journey it has been. I wont go into detail here because the fairytale illusion and heartache that came with it deserves its own space, as does the lovestory that followed.
I won´t go into the ascension cult, conspiracy narrative and “conscious community” here either.
What I will write about though is what AVALON means to me and why I still choose to stay in Glastonbury despite my strong wish for pristine rivers, waterfalls and faerie forests.
First of all I met my partner here, freebirthed my son, buried our placenta between Wearyall Hill and the Tor (two local faery mounds and sacred sites ) and have friends and community here. So these are all precious and valuable reasons to be here, if not my main ones.
Yet there is something else. A subtle yet tight pull, that resists the more I try to weed it out. And the more I surrender it softens.
It´s the calling.
For those of you familiar with authors such as Clarissa Pinkola Estés,
, Maureen Murdock, Jhenah Telyndru - you find a common denominator in their work and the folktales they recite: the woman gets called. And eventually cant resist to take the first step on a life changing journey.
For me it was the call from the Lady of the Lake that stirred up my heart.
A remembrance of aliveness I haven´t lived but known in my dreams.
A hunger that swallowed bookshelves and ignited Immrama. Although no sins were committed - other than that of having shut myself down for too long.
Avalon is the ethereal home of the Lady of the Lake. Of the 9 sisters of the fortunate isle. Ruled by a Queen, a Sorcerer, a Challenger.
Oh Avalon is so many things, there are worlds to explore. But above all, Avalon is an idea. An ideal. Yet as we know we can create heaven one earth (meaning give even the most idealistic fantasies a materialised hoem on this planet), if we choose awareness over numbness and embrace the pain of opening our eyes to our sovereignty.
I will elaborate more detailed soon, especially on the importance of sovereignty and why I found this to be the main challenge on my quest.
In Glastonbury this mystical place called Ynys Affalon found its earthly home. For centuries people have pilgrimed here, to pay homage to the famous grave of King Arthur and his Queen Guinevere. Others have come to lay their weary hands down in prayer next to the holy thorn tree, supposedly planted by Joseph of Arimethea. And today bus loads of women, dressed in priestess robes, walk the streets to trace back Mary Magdalene.
Glastonbury is also the place where the polarities meet. It is the crossroads of duality, of feminine and masculine, red and white, humans and fae. Even though Avalon is an otherworldy island that can be accessed in many places, and reached only through the gateway of the courageous heart, there are portals to be found here in the South West of England, the summer country and former swamp lands, now planted with cider apples.
Glastonbury certainly has charming aspects, if so with a Harry Potter Dress up flair. It´s certainly not subtle. Yet the true Avalonian Magic moves in invisible iridescent wafts through the streets and particularly through the sacred springs. Once they were united, alchemised but a wall has been erected and a road built and the sacred streams of Glastonbury are separated.
Red and White Dragons
Red and white roses are being offered on many places. They represent Hieros Gamos, the sacred union, they stand for the red and white water springs - red due to its iron content and the white spring opposite used with its calcium deposits. The red and white dragons are found in Welsh tales but can be witnessed dancing in the Glastonbury High Street on seasonal festivals such as Beltane.
But what most people, in their effort to classify what red and white means, overlook; is that they perpetuate the split that paves the road between the waters of love.
Red is seen as feminine, the menstrual blood and Mary Magdalene.
White as active, masculine, the semen and the pure Christ.
Or, if you dig deeper:
Red is the original masculine, solar god, iron oxide being active and connected to Mars.
White is the moon, the lunar goddess and calcium carbonate regarded as the milk of Venus.
This does it for clarity of mind but nature is so much more nuanced and intertwined and colourful.
Nature is changing shades like dawn turns into day and dusk into night. One season overlapping with the other.
I don´t think that it is about red = feminine and white = masculine or vice versa, I think that either can be helpful and distorted ways of looking at it. Much more interesting actually is what Wendy Berg proposes: Red being human, the blood and White being Faery, the Otherworld. So much more enchanting.
Nevertheless, it doesn´t matter, as the alchemy occurs when red and white intertwine, like the snakes (basically small dragons) on the Asclepius staff. So it has and will always be about finding both within.
And this is where I am at now. At the point of Equilibrium of realisation and recognition. And I know it will move soon again from crossing, overlapping to distance and swirling apart, only to meet again.
My two dragon lines are: Head and Heart.
Rational mind, overthinking, analysis, clinging to control, directing giving and receiving, changing perspectives.
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And trust, faith, flow, loosening the grip, allowing love to move where and how it wants to, returning home.
I thrive in down-to-earth communities, real-deal friendships, no-small-talk gatherings. And nature that is so gorgeous it does not need angelic frequencies to be channelled. Yet I stay in Glastonbury, where you get pretty much the opposite of all the above because I know there is something for me. beyond the judgement of spiritual ego escapism.
There is genuine devotion here, too.
And I am ready to tear open the pavement in myself that separated me from it
.Today´s Equinox Cacao Ceremony in a woodland underneath the Glastonbury Tor. I was serving Keith´s Cacao, telling stories of the Great Mother, Persephone´s descent and the abundance of cacao trees. My boyfriend Sean took over with his DJ set after infusing my words with otherworldy ambient sounds. Whilst our son was cuddling on our arms, dancing on the forest floor or sitting next to friends, chewing on his cacao cup.
If you would like to hear me speak more about Avalon and Cacao, Priestess Work and Motherhood, and how we can practice to listen to our bodies and mend the split between head and heart, read further.
I got invited to speak as one of 20 ladies for the The Modern Day Priestess Masterclass Series. Check it out, it´s free and starts tomorrow.
What is at the Heart of Avalon? And what connects Avalon with our Heart and that of the Earth?
Avalon is calling forth many into devotion in various ways and from various worlds:
History, Literature, Mythology, Spirituality… And as a Priestess of Avalon my passion is to illuminate pathways into her worlds, so that you, too will find your individual quest and embark on it with courage, inspiration and love.
Learn the Faery Accord, its meaning and ways to restore it, alongside the Grail Mysteries and how they are relevant today. Discover who King Arthur, Guinevere and Lancelot truly were and which stories they have to tell us today.
Be guided by Morgan Le Fey across the waters to the Healing Island of Avalon and witness her shapeshift from Queen, Priestess and Sorceress to awaken these archetypes within you.
We are anchoring Avalon into our world.
PART OF THIS COURSE IS AN IN-PERSON RETREAT IN GLASTONBURY NEXT YEAR: To immerse in the lands that are now recognised as real life portals and energy centres of Avalon. Equipped with knowledge, research and embodied experience of Avalon, we will visit the sacred sites together to pray, feel, explore and receive messages, insights and leave our own trace on the traditional pilgrimage grounds.
Here you will further learn about Celtic Christianity or the Druidic Church, the fusion of Goddess Culture and Christ Consciousness, with reference to druidic knowledge and the core teachings of Mary and Mary Magdalene.