The Magic of Motherblessings

Rituals, Pictures and the Power of Discernment

Energetics, Places, Rituals and lots of impressions from three very different mother blessings - two outdoors, one indoors. A little journey from 2022 to today. In this post I will tell you all about my take on mother blessings versus baby showers and what truly made me feel “blessed”.

MOTHER BLESSING OR BABY SHOWER?

First, I never heard of mother blessings before coming to Glastonbury. Alongside other Rite of Passages, it seems to be something that got replaced by much more capitalistic and material events, drawing away attention from the mother to the baby. Which of course shouldn’t be either or, but I dare to question the notion that baby in the belly needs a big party with lots of gifts.

I am not a fan of the whole gift giving culture anyway, at least not if it is unnecessary clutter and culturally expected gestures that hold no meaning beyond the surface celebration. As a mother I don’t feel supported nor initiated by a party after which everything stays the same, people leave and you have even more tidying to do. This is where I think we need to shift our focus back to the inner realms of preparation, ceremony and community that is dedicated to stay and support continuously.

Of course there are some gifts that are helpful for a new mother, namely:

• Muslin cloths (in her preferred colour, as she has them around her daily)

• A fully stacked freezer or organised meal train by the community

• A baby carrier and/or sling

• Simple, organic cotton or wool/silk clothing for baby and some (cloth) nappies (If you want disposable nappies, I can highly recommend Kit&Kin and Lillidoo Green, both biodegradable options in diapers and pants and we had no nappy rash ever)

• Postpartum teas and nourishing snacks (ceremonial grade cacao for milk supply and oxytocin levels and bone broth for replenishment are my favourites. For tea I recommend nettle, raspberry leaf, oatstraw, calendula, lady’s mantle, blessed thistle and mother’s wort)

That’s it. Honestly, changing tables and all sorts of gadgets are highly overrated and in my opinion mainly inventions of capitalism. Even toys are too overstimulating and a honey spoon will do just fine for baby to chew on when teething time comes along.

In the first weeks priority should be on rest and settling in to the new reality of motherhood.

For this time the biggest gift is support: emotionally, mentally and physically. This can look like friends and family coming in to help with the wash load and cleaning the bathroom, dropping off a leftover meal or holding baby whilst mama takes a shower.

And often the best gift presents themselves as an open ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. Emotions run high and the huge internal and external changes can be a lot to navigate.

Talking through the expectations and demands of becoming a mother alongside prayers and wishes for this sacred rite of passage to me are potent ways to celebrate this special time and fill up the becoming mother with presence, adoration and trust.

A pregnant and birthing woman is goddess embodied. She is sheer creation and life force is flowing through her.

This is something our western culture has neglected for too long, shifting focus from the power house a woman is to pushing her onto the periphery as a quietly suffering martyr that sacrifices her all. To appear the smiling, caring parent - or to succumb to formula feeding, sleep training and childcare in order to not feel different but instead continue a “normal” life.

So how can we honour this in our contemporary society whilst facing the reality of disconnect and separation, nuclear families and loneliness?

My first mother blessing was July 2022, when I was pregnant with my son Fynn River Eoin at 39 weeks (picture above). It was the biggest and most well planned blessing event I had thanks to my doula Lianne who engaged all my friends and prepared both space and rituals. Fynn was born three weeks later.

This year I had two mother blessings because we moved to a different country and I found some rituals made more sense for the women I live close to now whereas others lend themselves as goodbye from the previous home.

At first I wasn’t going to do one in Glastonbury as I was very busy working and packing. But one of the wonderful moms in the community offered to hold a blessing for me which was such a wonderful gesture that I gratefully accepted.

Note: Mother Blessings are ideally organised by someone else, so the mother can lean back and only give wishes and input but doesn’t have to carry the load of messaging and logistics. A big part of it is the practice of receiving.

Due to the spontaneous nature of the event and our soon departure we met at the only available time for 3 hours for a very deep and touching ritual. It was potent, with spontaneously flowing prayers, song and lots of synchronicities. True Avalon Magic. The weather was unpredictable in late March and we weren’t able to arrange a picknick destination hence why we met at my mother in law’s living room (picture below) whilst she took my son out for a stroll after his nap.

Two weeks ago - again at 39 weeks pregnant - I had another short and sweet blessing way with friends old and new in a very faery setting amongst bluebells, moss, birches and oaks. A day to remember for the atmosphere alone (first pic at the top and the one below). I arrived in my dream home and got to share my most daring vision for the upcoming birth. Which I share for Mystic Members here.

I share all rituals of the three blessings with you today, it can be simple or elaborate, prepared in a highly decorated or minimalistic space.

I personally believe the rituals themselves are mainly to give the event a framework, act as anchor points and tie oneself to not only the women and community but also the energy that is given from them to the mother and will be felt until after birth.

That being said, it will feel different for every woman as to what is sacred, supportive and initiatory.

Glastonbury, 2022

I was the first amongst my (local) circle of friends to give birth and certainly the first to consider a free birth (meaning with no midwife or other medically trained staff present). In some ways I longed for an initiation facilitated by mothers, women who passed the threshold of both birth and caring for children. Yet in hindsight I can see how crucial for my personal becoming it was to not have had any influence from outside and their experience in order to shape my own.

My default used to be dependency and reliance on others alongside passing on responsibility on external systems and being led by what friends, family or institutions wanted or expected of me.

I’ve always felt like the opposite of the Rebel.

I felt numb, disconnected and clueless as to what I really desired. Hence why it was easier to track other people’s wishes and follow them. Or, in proper people pleaser style: fulfil them.

For someone like me, who would always consider the opinions and perspectives of anyone else but my own, it became crucial to practice discernment. And that started within my body. Feeling, sensing, even guessing into what sat right with me and what not. Trial and error. Following signs. Saying yes and regretting it. Saying no and fighting the internal battle of not regretting it but feeling big Fear of rejection.

Of course we carry all archetypes within ourself and there will be friends who are reading these lines with great surprise, considering me a pathfinder, a leader and courageous soul who is willing to move countries and able to fit into new surroundings with ease and joy. And for sure there are things that flow naturally (not always easily) for me and following my heart, ironically, was somehow never out of question.

The flexibility that allowed me to hold various perspectives and made me susceptible to external influences, also has its perks: When put in the right environment with the right influences, my adaptable and quick to learn self will easily teach itself to be whatever it needs - and, once discovered: whatever it wants.

As I was put - by fate, subconscious will or both - into the most eccentric alternative and hyper spiritual town in Europe during my first pregnancy, I inevitably got into antenatal classes that didn’t only class free birth as an option but as the norm.

My whole world view reshaped and shifted and despite me not connecting on a deep level with the weed-smoking nor the oh-so-divinely-guided-priestess moms, I got connected to my own physical sovereignty. Combined with some ridiculous NHS incidents and their unabashedly shameful fear mongering, I knew I needed to embrace a new - uhm actually super ancient - way of looking at birth and motherhood.

I will write about this in more detail soon, alongside pregnancy and birth preparations, book recommendations and free birth stories. It will all be available for Mystic Members and supporters of my Mother Muse Journey.

For now it is enough for you to grasp the context of my first Mother Blessing and why the Rite of Passage was so profound as a first mom within my friend circle.

For those of you who have always done things your way, it might be the opposite and you will find great support in experienced mothers to bless your journey with their advice. Welcome it in and embrace the circumstances you have. Be it one friend or ten people that attend your Mother Blessing.

It will be special either way.

RITUALS
From cacao to prayers, candles and red thread

My friends knew that my dream was always to have an outdoor birth and because we had no idea how to facilitate it without access to land and shelter we at least were able to plan the mother blessing at a location of my choice. A 20 minutes drive from Glastonbury, in a meadow with trees and easy car parking space to unload big bags. It was the ideal place and synchronistically even one that my friend and doula knew intimately as she set camp there many years with her traveller family (which I was unaware of when choosing this spot, in which I had a magical ceremony one year prior).

I set up a whatsapp group, decided on a date and handed the admin over to Lianne after which I left the group and simply prepared iced cacao and cups for the gathering. As a cacao ceremonialist that still is my favourite thing to do and had me feeling like I gave something to the group myself. Reciprocity and all ;). I also baked a cake as that’s another thing I like doing to contribute and give thanks. It was a Torta della Nonna: Homemade custard cream tarte topped with pine nuts.

Except for the cacao ritual and ceremonial words, all rituals and setting was Lianne’s wonderful working with the help of my friends.

Lianne and me are currently working on a first trimester (and beyond) course for expecting moms and hope to be able to share some magic with you soon. She is off social media but I can happily put you in touch if you are looking for a doula and womb masseuse in the Bristol/south-west England area.

When I arrived, the space was already set with blankets, cushions and an abundant centre piece of flowers and candles. Snacks, plenty of water (it was hot!), gifts and paints, ritual tools all ready alongside the wonderful women who helped setting up. Some connected for the first time in real life.

• The space was opened: one by one we anointed each other with rose water. Lianne started with me, asking for permission to touch me with the fragrant water and used a feather to blow and spread her welcoming words all over me. I continued with the woman to my left and so forth until our whole circle was complete

• I poured the ceremonial grade cacao and spoke my gratitude, intention and welcoming prayer to the directions and elements after which I asked everyone to connect their heart and come into presence and love

• Whilst sipping on the cacao asked for a sharing round. It was a variety of sharing from mother memories, what mother means to each, how my friends see me mother and other touching life lessons from their own childhood and adult life

• Lianne then led the red thread ritual: A long red thread is being wound around the wrist of each participant and connects us visibly in the circle. prayers and wishes can be spoken whilst wrapping the thread around one’s arm, literally tying the thoughts of the mother they connect with into the band. After the circle is full and words have been spoken the thread between each woman is cut and tied to a desired length. Bare in mind it will be on the wrist until baby is born, so make it comfortable. I had my red thread on my wrist for a few days after birth even because it reminded me of this day and all the women in my circle which gave me great comfort love.

• Lianne had layed out affirmation cards for each to write a reminder on that I could draw on during moments of doubt or worry. They make for wonderful items on the birth altar and can be great source of reassurance when feeling alone.

• Everyone had a red candle ready that was charged with all the energy and intention of the day and meant to be taken home and lit when the birth would start. This way everyone could share their light on the day/night of birth and continue the big web we were weaving to guide baby earth side

• We then shared cake, snacks, chats and my talented artist friends adorned my belly with paint

When labour started, Lianne texted the whatsapp group with regular updates and everyone lit their ritual candle.

How beautiful are these altar set ups my friends shared in our chat whilst I was far away between the worlds:

It was so heart warming to check the group chat after Fynn was born, sending them a picture of the newborn being and reading all the thoughts, wishes and powerful observations by Lianne and Jenna, who both witnessed me at different stages of the 44 hours in the birth process. My favourite sentence from the group: “Honestly I think Sean should be a midwife”. My partner truly was a magnificent support, and I can’t wait to share the details with you from his beautiful ceremonial portal opening to his dedicated physical and emotional support - that truly is still ongoing now. We are both wondering how it will unfold this time.

Glastonbury, 2025

You can tell that these ladies have participated in and held ceremonies and ritual spaces themselves. No need for explanation other than what practicalities Rebekah had planned. The words and gestured flowed like the tears and songs we all shared. Short and sweet, profound and perfect. Knowing that these women are far away when my baby comes is the only pain I feel. Especially my german squad in Avalon, I miss them dearly up here.

Rebekah asked me beforehand if I had wishes or specific rituals in mind such as the red thread. I knew I didn’t want the red thread nor the candles for this one as I knew having a wristband for more than a month would annoy me and as I was leaving Glastonbury it didn’t feel right to tie the bond tighter but actually to free up the space in order to give the women in my new home a way to weave a thread and light a candle in the same neighbourhood. That being said, I am sure my friends will still light a candle for me anywhere in the world - should I get a chance to inform them when birth begins.

As soon as Rebekah mentioned blessing beads it was clear that this was the ritual I longed for. Everyone invited brings a bead of any shape or form that they find, are drawn to, etc with a specific intention and blessing for mama and baby. These intentions and how the beads were chosen are shared in circle and put on a thread. For me this was absolutely perfect, as I got to take a piece of everyone present with me to my new home and adorn the birth altar with these sacred pieces. Reminders of my friends and the physical representation of their love.

• Foot bath in flower water

• Flower crown, all plants collected in reference and tuned in with my energy, the most stunning synchronicity: the beech tree branch, from the tree I had my pregnancy photo under just a month prior (which was unbeknownst to the giver)

• Smudging and cleansing with swan feather, anointing and blessing of head, heart and womb

• Words of gratitude for everyone present. this time the gifts were mainly for me (as everyone know I am sorted on the baby prep front and because it was close friends that really wanted to make me feel seen): blue lotus which i have been drinking throughout the pregnancy and loving it, taurus candle which matched my exact colours and really encompassed the month of may (and which baby will be in vedic astrology), a card and art work that is supporting my spiritual connection and faith in my psychic abilities and therefore self trust. Holy water, collected and blessed by two very devoted souls, postpartum tea and lots of flowers.

• Sharing round of friendship and wonder, what we see in mama and how she touched our life. Very tearful, very beautiful

• Giving of blessing beads with words about where and why the bead was chosen

• Foot massage

• Song Oh River

• Snacks and cake: another fantastic synchronicity as this time I didn’t make a cake and Rebekah brought my literal favourite thing on earth: chocolate cream and blueberries! I don’t think I ever told anyone that this is my fave cake combo!

• Offering the flower petals and water to the earth, where Fynn’s placenta is buried

Scotland, 2025

Again, we didn’t have as much time as I would have liked to due to me having to be home to take care of Fynn whilst Sean had a work call, one friend having an appointment and another breastfeeding duties for her eight month old! Plus we departed late, walked for a good while to reach the bluebell woods and took our time to catch up the last weeks as everyone but me was on holiday!

We also celebrated the birthday of our beloved

Freya

and therefore combined the picknick with the theme of re-birth. This time, except of Freya and me, we didn’t have ceremony accustomed women in our fine little circle and because it is a new friends group I didn’t want to put all responsibility of organising a blessing for me in their hands and so I presented the main rituals from my first blessing, the red thread and birth candles - alongside a longer cacao invocation. Let’s say this was a more mundane and practical round, less me- and baby-centred, fewer words but nonetheless meaningful conversations and simply a wonderful time with friends in the sun.

And to me the most important thing is to land within a community, be able to shape it, contribute to it and reimagine the village in a way that feels true and available for us now. I know I can call on the girls with any need and they know they can do the same with me. And that is a true blessing, especially when so freshly moved to a new place!

• Cacao invocation: sovereignty

• Red thread alongside words of support, wisdom or simply mirroring presence for birthing wish

• Candles for everyone to take and light when birth starts

• Card pull, cake, chats from health to home

Intention and Theme woven into cacao ritual:

First sip: things we long to overcome, fears and challenges.
Second sip: things we have overcome, we have learned and gathered evidence that life is moving, shifting, changing and we are growing, maturing and evolving alongside it.
Third sip: anchoring in our sovereignty, the part we have mastered and feel trust, sense of fulfilment, empowerment, steady strength and confidence in » With that part we show up today for holding vision with mama to birth in sovereignty.

I purposely chose these words as I was sharing my journey of coming into sovereignty with my body and taking ownership of my health, pregnancy and birth outside the medical system. And yet I am still at the beginning and of course worries and old beliefs start surfacing. This is where discernment comes into play when choosing the people you share your birth dream with. Not everyone will be on the same page, some won’t be able to hold your vision and trust. And in a time of heightened sensitivity as pregnancy is, you are more receptive to criticism and fear. Especially if you are carving a new path within your community and have not yet gathered much personal evidence nor the experience of others in your close surrounding. Be mindful who you allow access to your thoughts to and keep gathering with those that mirror you confidence, help you move through fears and point you back to your core values in case you get lost in the maze of other’s concerns.

This time my red thread was actually blueish-red because since conception I have seen purple, craved all things blue lotus coloured, from lavender to violet, especially in hues of Monet’s water lilies and dream like pearly shades. The bluebell wood was just the perfect setting for this purple pleasured pregnancy.

Those who know me for a long time, know that I never - like never ever - considered any facet of blue, purple or pink desirable or would have even let it near myself in form of clothes or decorations. Well, as soon as this baby soul landed within me I wanted everything from lilac to lavender.

This is it for today, I hope you enjoyed my write up of mother blessings and can draw some inspiration and empowerment from my shares to create your own or a friend’s magical transition.

Feel free to comment, share or like this post, ask further question or tell me what you would like me to deepen on in future shares.

With a smile,
a very expectant Laura