Priestess Pathway Practicalities #1
The one practice you should implement in your life right now!
Hello everyone, for those new to this Newsletter, I am Laura, mother, teacher, ceremonialist and Priestess of Avalon. I write about the importance of sacred leadership embodied through inner alchemy, share personal insights as practical examples and draw from the rich sources of mythology, fairy tales and archetypal studies to bring back remembrance, responsibility and reciprocal relationship with oneself, nature and fellow humans.
I am considering to start a series about what it means to be a modern priestess and how to weave inner and outer work into everyday life. For now please refer to my website for my public priestess offerings, as they are only for very select and specific occasions, such as the Avalon Retreat in Glastonbury.
Becoming a priestess is becoming a bridge, bridging from inner conflict resolution to external solutions of regeneration and peace. It involves inner work, reconciliation, tending to conflicting emotions, integrating ones past hurts, wounds and traumas as well as tending to vision, kindling the flame of inspiration, passion and willpower to commit to a new path and keep shining this light on the sign posts forward which we would otherwise overlook.
I don´t take the now trendy buzzword of the priestess lightly, and am devoted as a Priestess trained and initiated in the Avalonian Tradition (and motivated by my own field of study: Arthurian Literature) to the inner path of the heart, which in my personal approach alchemises the Magic of Cacao (bringer of joy and inner child connection) with the Magic of the Ninefold (the feminine mysteries and various skills transmitted through literature, mythology and mystery).
One essential priestess task which we still know of from pre-christian times - and we really don´t know much as we don´t have many writings on women in sacred power positions, so this seems even more crucial as its mentioned in various sources - is that of a peaceweaver, a messenger of conflict resolution, a bridge between war faring nations and tribes.
Priestesses and groups of women whose tasks seem related to those of druids were called upon amidst the battlefield, stopping fully equipped, ready-to-fight soldiers in their actions by stepping forth and negotiating with seemingly enchanting communication and prophetic skills.
This might not be relevant in its exact form today as war seems to be made in high top buildings amongst rich men with their power and money driven strategies. I believe the modern priestess tends to the battlefield within, holding space for other´s troubles, witnessing their pain and helping them to move through their pain and fear to arrive at their own empowerment. As a guide and vessel of the goddess, she creates an experience of unconditional love that her recipient can´t (yet) fathom for themselves alone.
Sound familiar? You probably experienced something similiar in the presence of cacao, either through your own willingness to go within and surrender yourself to the plants teachings or through the hands of a practitioner … well, let me take you back to the ancient ways of Cacao and why this plant is an incredible ally for inner - and through that inadvertently outer - conflict resolution. I wrote an article about this for my cacao newsletter
and it made me think about a really simple and practical way to break it down for those not into hourlong meditations and woowoo fluff. So I will give you my personal practice and observation for inner peace below.Give me the fluff (and really cool cacao stuff):
Give me the daily practical thing to implement:
Regenerating and sustaining peace in your day to day can look like this:
Spotting incongruences
The easiest and fastest way to spot where you are at war within yourself is by becoming aware of incongruence. And the best and fastest (not that easy anymore) way to practice peace is changing those sneaky little habits to establish congruence.
Have you ever - better, tell me how many times you have - told your partner/mom/friend half heartedly “coming” in response to them calling “dinner is ready” when really, you were still scrolling social media for five more minutes, took your time in the bathroom or finished the last episode of Bridgerton?
This is an incongruence between words and action. Minor maybe, but nonetheless crucial. At least once children are involved:
Stop complying to gloss over
Your partner might be ok to comply with your incongruent behaviour - they might even favour it because it enables them to do something in the meantime, before having dinner - and even found a coping strategy, e.g. shout “dinner is ready” whilst just putting the spaghettis in the boiling water, assuming you’ll be coming down exactly when they are al dente.
That however doesn’t make your incongruence go away, it actually fosters theirs, too.
Now imagine having a little child of your own. I have one, so let me tell you they are copying everything you do and they mainly rely on your actions. They do not rely on your words nor your rational thinking. That’s not their jam.
So, this little mirror of yours is shadowing you and noting all the little incongruences - as a fact. Because they don’t now what incongruence means. My partner didn’t know before he met me and admittedly he still knew it 4 years in age before I learned about it with nearly 30.
A child hears you saying “coming” but sees you not coming. A child hears your partner saying “dinner is ready” when it is not yet ready - or notices your partner either waiting, increasingly frustrated or entertaining themselves otherwise, not bothered.
All of this signals the child: When mom says something it’s not what she is going to do and that results in either an unhappy dad or dad doesn’t care what mom said, actually both don’t really take the words seriously. Which results in distrust. By the way, I am no psychologist nor parenting expert, I am only using this example to illustrate my point, which is that the child only makes visible in the external what your inner child has known for all your life.
We can rationalise our behaviour now and quickly dismiss these little, seemingly meaningless episodes. Yet they accumulate and maintain distrust first and foremost within yourself. On an unconscious level. Which we all know will sabotage us when change is afoot and we (consciously) desire to move forward in new directions, expand, break old patterns, grow and evolve.
It all comes down to presence
Acknowledge your incongruences.
Accept that they might have been learned and/or serving you somehow (oh isn’t it so much more easy to just indulge in a little more scrolling or finish this sentence than having to force yourself out of the dopamin hit?!).
Pay attention every time this could happen again and try something different, e.g. “I just finish this and then I´ll come” or “can I have 5 more minutes?”.
More congruency, more peace.
Such an interesting thing to explore Laura, I love the fine levels of awareness this takes (as well as so many things right?)
I practice congruence far more with my child than with my partner. The dinner is ready thing has become like a subtle form of control ever since early months of dating when I realised he has no sense of time, so when I would say it’s ready in 5 minutes and he would arrive 30 minutes later, I would get so angry that I’ve now used the ‘it’s ready’ thing to make sure he isn’t ridiculously late to the table so I can avoid my anger about (what feels like) carelessness, but as you say it is incongruence and my body knows it, it doesn’t feel good to be tactical / dishonest in those ways.
"Acknowledge your incongruences" You are wise Laura. So many do nothing but put up barriers.