Rainbows, Bridges and the unpaved road

Bridging from an outworn life to a chapter unknown.

For the first time in two years and six road trips we didn’t overpack. 

The trunk of the  family car, a Ford Galaxy, is full, but we can see through the back window AND we have the seats free! That’s a first. 

I had to leave my books again. 

I am at a point of my life where I am finally able to discern between the clothes I will wear and the clothes I want myself to wear but never do in the midst of traveling, breastfeeding and too many bags. I am finally able to pack less clothes and make more room for books. But I am clearly not able to discern which ones I will read or really need for work and which ones I would want myself to read but never do. Probably 80% but if I was to admit this our loud I wouldn’t be allowed them. Good thing Sean is too busy driving, he probably won’t get the chance to read this newsletter.
But I need them.

If you need a reason it’s because I am a kitchen environment in Human Design, I’m sure my Substack pal

Lauren Barber

will explain you why that matters. It’s inner alchemy, the need to be surrounded with all the tools I could possibly or potentially need, even just one page might hold the spark for a whole article or that one sentence which inspires a long candle lit conversation or the author´s theory giving me the last piece of my research puzzle. I need all my books but I learned to switch them around frequently and some are in boxes, so well stacked within the storage unit, that I’m simply unable to go through them. The issue is that there are bookstores worldwide and wob (uk online second hand bookstore) provided me with a good 20 new additions in the last two months whilst we were settled in our countryside dream of a cottage with sheep fields and ravens knocking on the windows of our well room (the room with an actual well in it). 

We got offered to extend our short term let for another month or two, until they could sell the house and despite already having agreed to our travel plans, we wavered. Tempting. A huge space, with a landlord as good as gold, an incredibly generous rental agreement and nature about to bloom. I had to take several deep breaths and a good nights sleep to think about it. My grandmother who recently passed was very understanding of my overthinking (this particular trait coming from her family line I’m sure) and would say I should just sleep on it. We are both Geminis with birthdays two days apart and as soon as the sun went down our heads would start to spin, worries would creep in and clear thinking would get difficult. My grandmother then said in the morning the world would look different again.

Double rainbow turned into triple one soon after.

Sean, Fynn and me are a good travelling team and happy on the road but if it was possible we would have settled in a humble home long ago. We crave a nest to settle in since leaving our small one bed flat (very tight one bed flat (think harry potter under the staircase one bed flat)) in 2022. Ever since we couldn´t find - nor afford - a bigger longterm place in Glastonbury, which to me was not all too surprising, considering I was not fully happy to stay there. Yet, Sean wasn´t ready to give up the comfort of closeness to family and friends and the reputation of the town was beneficial for my work - many started reading this newsletter to get some insights on living on the isle of Avalon and if that´s you, read this:

On Apples

So we agreed to give it another year and trust that we will find what is meant for us. 2023 was the year of short term lets and compromises but also of clues and inner growth - apart from the more obvious physical growth of Fynn River Eoin who seems to live up to his namesake. Can you guess which mythological character we based our son´s name on?

In between travels to my family in Germany and Sean´s family in Essex we lived a couple of winter months in the Highlands of Scotland, lodged in an airbnb in Glastonbury and eventually moved into Sean´s mother´s garage. All of which contributed to me clearly stating my wish to move on from Glastonbury and make 2024 the year to live my dreams and dump the compromises. We both are working online, and have enough means to travel through less pricey countries whilst building up our finances for a more permanent home. So why trying to fit into compromise homes and actually ending up with short terms anyways when we can sip a glass of red in Italy and hike to fresh water springs in Greece?
Fynn is in a great exploring age, where the world is his playground. Having had a big kitchen to bake together and establish a dish washing habit was fantastic, but I´m happy to try family life by the beach instead. Followed by welsh waterfalls and Irish rolling hills in before I am holding my biggest work projects thus far: The DRAGON RETREAT in Snowdonia (September 17th to 22nd) and the AVALON RETREAT in Glastonbury (October 27th to 31st).

Intentionally travelling feels much more easeful and exciting to me than having to pack and unpack for overpriced rentals. And so we packed with purpose this time. 6 months of 6 countries ahead of us: UK, France, Germany, Italy, Greece, back to the UK for fun with friends and I´m booked to hold cacao ceremonies on a Glastonbury festival, and to pick up the bag that is waiting for us in the storage with warm autumn gear for Wales and - drumroll - Ireland!

After two stormy, rainy and sunny days we departed with rainbows on the road and in the sky! Stonehenge looked pristine under the equally bright and dark clouds and we get to spend our first day in Essex under a warm sun all day.

From Glastonbury to Essex

And I am so grateful that Sean - who needed a good few nights more than me to sleep on it - thinks so, too.

I believe that it does us the world good, considering if we would have settled already, we would most likely fall into a routine. And as tempting a routine can be for us, it can also get us stuck in the mud instead of the flowery meadow that we initially wished for when it is a routine dictated by the external, the conditioned reality and an environment we compromise in.

We are both very social people, considerate of other´s needs and happy to help, often to our own detriment. Not so much out of people pleasing but out of the genuine desire for connection. We love being around others, feeling close to others and belong in a community. This lead to us having not established clear wants for our own selves, easily swayed by what the people, be it friends or family, prefer to do or already are doing. We are flexible, willing to learn, eager to grow.
In our relationship this works fantastic as we know that we share this trait and therefore remind each other to not neglect our own wants and needs. We regularly encourage each other to pursue our passions and find new ones together. Other people though, as much as they love us, don’t always fully understand how we compromise our days for connection nor do they share the need to compromise theirs as they are more firm in their established ways. Which leaves us bending backwards to fit around them, otherwise we fear that we might not see them at all or fail to connect.

Travelling by ourselves as a family is like an unpaved road for us. One that we get to explore, venture off from and build bridges.

And when we return we might be able to establish the routines that work for and with us and our community, that honour our needs as much as others.

This is a rather abrupt end to my little story on easter Sunday, but let it be the beginning instead of the end.

I would love to know where and how you are spending these days at and if you are happily stuck in routines or dreading them or on the road. Are you longing for home or have found belonging in your heart wherever you go?