The Perilous Bridge, a fine line between faith and sovereignty

We are moving in with my mother-in-law

In the process of a big rebirth in my life - redefining my work, searching for a new home, dating myself to find out who I have become since birthing my first son -, I attended a full moon ceremony, led by

Amanda Yates Garcia

last month, during which we created a map of desire: Drawing and naming major fears, blockages but also companions and solutions of our journey. As a student and teacher of mythology, story and legend, this was right up my street and I loved this exercise. Here is my map and go check out Amandas Mystery School here.

I started my spiritual journey as a Reclaiming Witch under the guidance of Samatha Ravenna Shay and finding Amanda on Substack brought back so many powerful memories.

I don´t practice witchcraft as such at this point in my life, but it still holds huge influence and inspiration for my inner work, ceremonies and priestess path, even though it is now fuelled by Avalonian Tradition and Celtic Mythology. I still wish to find a witch or coven from the Faery tradition though, who would love to take me under their wings, so this is a little call for one, if they read this.

I am sharing this map because on my personal quest of finding a home and creating a work-[family]life-love-create balance, I got stuck.

And mapping it out made me realise that this is not at all the case, I am simply confronted with one of the hindrances of my life as an adventure.

Another form of how Lady Sovereignty tests me.

For those curious what I mean by the Lady, the personification of Sovereignty, her tests and challenges, and meaning from Mythology to Modern Life, I would like to offer you the replay of my study session and release ritual which I held last Friday 13th.

It really is very relevant during Eclipse season and you might want to watch/do the ritual any time until Samhain, which astrologically falls onto November 7th this year.

I believe life, god|ess, source really has our back. And often know better than us what we need.

When we don´t rationally understand why something is happening, we have a choice: to fight our way against the current or to surrender and let the stream loosen our grip of control.

When we come into acceptance and presence we actually get to reap the benefits and integrate the losses.

This is what previously stopped me from manifesting, because I wanted life to show me what my next steps was.

But here I also acted out of a shadow: mistrust in myself and my power. The outsourcing of responsibility onto the external, life, god, goddess source.

Because I also believe that we are creators innately, we create new life, so why not co-create our own?

It is an integral part in stepping into sovereignty.

To take responsibility for our own life.

And I don´t mean the other extreme of mine, where you are hyper independent and only do what serves you, without looking left nor right and put yourself above life||god|ess||source, avoid compromises at all costs or ignore the needs of your beloved community.

I believe there to be a fine line of intersection of it all.

The so called perilous bridge that leads to the Court of Joy.

THIS IS IT. I found it, this bridge. Crossing it will require another chapter of writing but after a life long search for the way to the Great Mysteries, I found its entrance!

The Perilous (aka dangerous) Bridge - for those that have never heard this expression (or have and read over it, hoping the context would soon reveal its meaning) - is a motif in literature and a mythological symbol, to be found for example in Norse and Celtic mythology, particularly Arthurian Legends and its Grail Quests.

Bridges, like all crossing places, are dangerous. As routes across the body of water that separates the living from the dead, or across the infernal abyss, these mythical bridges are especially dangerous: the soul of the sinner cannot cross, and the bridge distinguishes between the righteous and the damned. Earthly bridges are fixed structures, but these are narrow or broad, as occasion demands, or are endowed with an apparent structural unsoundness that allows only the morally resolute to make the crossing in safety.

Sometimes, the danger is there for all, and for the righteous the bridge is a final test.

Invariably, the bridge leads to a kind of paradise or to an underworld that will not tolerate the presence of the bad, who fall from it into a place of dissolution or punishment.

(Alby Stone, source: https://www.indigogroup.co.uk/edge/pbridge.htm)

This bridge leads the bravest, most honourable and genuine Knights of the Round Table into the Otherworld.

And us humble, yet ambitious humans to Sovereignty.

Rewind: why sovereignty and what does it all have to do with Laura, Sean and baby Fynn moving in with grandma Woody? (Yes, it´s her nickname, and she rocks it)

Fynn would move in here, but I find the rent too high for it to not have a roof nor central heating.

If you read my last shares, you know that I am so done with short term lets and guest bedroom stays.

So I did what I have never done before and wrote a list of my dream home. Whilst simultaneously letting go of the grip of expectation.

What I have learned so far: the dream home is not yet here, but that does not mean it doesn´t exist. Trust the timing.

My head tried to convince me that I should have a stable living situation by now, that I should have enough income to pay for a 2-bed place for my family and that I should know where we are going to be until next spring.

Yet the moment I accepted that no amount of shoulds could change the fact that it currently is not my reality, I released the pressure and Sean and me genuinely considered his mothers suggestion to take the guest room in her house (which until now was rented out to someone else).

And my whole system exhaled. Relaxed.

Weeks ago I would have perceived this as a failure, a giving up on my dream, handing in the towel.

But now I actually see it as a commitment to the plan, life has in stall for us.

A test in trust in the right timing and that it simply is not yet the moment I would have wanted it to be.

`Because what you want might not be what you need´ - Which is what I sing to myself for ten years now, thanks to this song:

It is a call into sovereignty, meaning freedom of choice. The choice of perceiving a situation as a loss or a blessing.

It is a call into sovereignty, meaning valuing my power. The power to take what life gives me with gratitude and transform it into what I long for in the long run.

It is a call into sovereignty, meaning a life without heteronomy. Which includes beliefs, ideas and expectations which are not my owns (goodbye to the shoulds).

And it is a confirmation that my manifestation worked.

It is not the list, that came true. But what I envisioned after writing it.

What do I desire here and now?

I ask myself: what is it internally that I need and want now?

It is spaciousness, calmness.

Time to study, work, rest and play.

Check out the whole vision, it perfectly describes what we are about to move into:

Calling in my dream home Pt.2

Moving in with grandma Woody and uncle Ryan might not be the most physically spacious experience, but it makes room for inner spaciousness. Expansion after contraction.

Of course I still wish for us to have our own place to finally empty the storage unit and paint some walls green. But for now I take this as an invitation to lean further into faith.

Because for me this isn´t done with one time list writing. Or a couple of offerings and a gratitude prayer.

It is a lifetime practice of walking the bridge between sovereignty and faith.

Between taking responsibility for my life and surrendering the exact outcome to the divine|natural law of things.

It´s perilous because it requires radical self honesty. Which can be at times painful and vulnerable. It can strip me naked. Have me believe I am on the ground, failing. Ready to give up.

When in truth it is humbling to the core. To continue even more aligned with compassion for myself and others.

The moment when fear and ego scream but my heart found the reins and inhales love.

This is what I´m committed to.

This is what I believe will guide me to MY Court of Joy (another motif of Arthurian Literature, can you tell this is what I teach and am genuinely passionate about?).

This is what ALREADY has me crossed the perilous bridge several times. Because I have arrived within.

With every smile of my gold nugget of a son, I see lifes blessings mirrored back at me.

With every transformative conversation and ritual with my friends, I know I am exactly where I am meant to be.

With every day I wake up healthy, happy and loved (& in love):

I experience what I desire.

The dragon parade in Glastonbury, yesterday. Accompanying the red and white dragon to the Samhain ceremony.

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Big Announcement:

THE WORLDS OF AVALON are calling you into sovereignty!

From Mythology to Modern Magic. From dissociation to embodiment.

The portal is open and you are invited to step through. Orientation online meeting is this Wednesday 25th, via zoom linked here. Our first ceremony within the course will be November 10th (recorded for replay).

I am not one for buying pressure but if you want to join the (optional) in person Retreat in Glastonbury over midsummer 2024, please sign up asap, so I can book the retreat space according to numbers.

Do you feel a longing for myths, magic and MORE to what life seems to be?

Have you heard the call of Avalon?

Are you fascinated by the Fae? 

And wish to know what strength and truth lies beyond what we heard of fairies and fairy tales?

Are you facilitating retreats or hold ceremonies but are conscious about cultural appropriation and want to learn authentic connection to your culture? (Nordic, Celtic, Central European)

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO TAKE SPIRITUAL IDEAS AND IDEALS OUT OF THE HEAD SPACE AND INTO EMBODIED HEART CENTRED LIVING?

Honestly, my passion is to translate elite spiritual bs into relatable and accessible knowledge for everyone to benefit from.

You don’t need to know what Avalon means (I will give you several etymological translations) or what the Holy Grail is (as you will find out about many interpretations) but more importantly you will find what they represent in your life, how you they relate to YOUR WORLDS. 

It is THIS LIFE on THIS PLANET that counts.

Which doesn´t mean, it can´t be magical …

Take your steps towards the portal of the otherworld. 

The gateway to tangible spirituality.

This is for everyone who thought spirituality was only to be found in India or on aya retreats but your heart never quite resonated with cultures so far away to your actual environments.

This is for everyone wanting to connect back to their roots.

To live in presence with their natural environment.

To reach beyond Christianity and patriarchy, yet with compassion and wit of centuries of distortions and change.

With an honest approach to what resonates NOW instead of trying to fantasise about what could have been.

This is for everyone who is sick of priestess influencers and goddess performance.

For those who want to know more than the common posts about Celtic festivals.

For those bored by mainstream scripts and overused simplified phrases on cyclical living.

THE WORLDS OF AVALON offer you modern traditions and historical insights.

Mythology and literature.

Rituals and practical life tools.

Online (because Avalon is in your heart, no matter your location) and in person retreat (because the lands where these stories originate, reflect their ancient teachings).